I used to wonder why everything seemed like such a struggle for me, while others seemed to never have a problem. At the time, I didn’t recognize that I had low self-confidence. If you feel like I did, you know the feeling of just getting by in life, while others succeed at everything.
I’ll be the first to admit that it takes work to build self-confidence. However, it’s a vital part of having a happy and healthy life. If you wonder if self-confidence is worth working on, consider how much better your life could be than it is now.
Is Self-Confidence An Issue For You?
I think it’s important to first look at some warning signs that you may be struggling. While some may seem glaringly obvious, others become so commonplace that you don’t even realize something’s wrong. A few common signs include:
- Rarely or never taking pride in what you do or achieve
- Apologizing frequently, even when you’ve done nothing wrong
- Compensating with a vice to make you happier (drugs, alcohol, overeating, shopping too much, etc.)
- Feeling constantly indecisive
- Feeling stuck and uncertain of how to change
- Depression and anxiety (not always tied to self-confidence issues, but it is something to pay attention to)
- Being told you need to be more confident
- Feeling like you’re always being run over or taken advantage of
Now that you know the signs, I want to show you why self-confidence is important.
1. Better Able To Handle Rejection
Rejection is never fun. I hate it myself, but I know it’s just a part of life. People with low self-confidence have a harder time simply brushing off rejection. They take it personally. With high self-confidence, it’s easier to let go and realize it truly isn’t anything personal.
2. Easier To Build Self-Esteem
I used to think self-esteem and self-confidence were the same thing, but they are different. The main difference is self-esteem has more to do with an emotional appraisal of yourself, while self-confidence has more to do with trusting and believing in yourself. Higher self-confidence makes it easier to build self-esteem, which experts consider harder to do.
3. Necessary For Peak Performance
To reach your peak performance, you have to trust yourself. Otherwise, you live with such self-doubt that you’ll always hold yourself back. Think of low self-confidence as a titanium door without a key. You can’t move forward until you have the key – high self-confidence.
4. Handle Social Situations Easier
If you’re anything like I was, you aren’t exactly a social butterfly. I remember feeling anxious and out of place. I wasn’t sure how to handle situations. The more confident I felt, the easier it was to talk to new people, enjoy spending time with my friends and become the person I am today.
5. Have Better Mental Health
I’ve already mentioned anxiety and depression, both of which are linked to low self-confidence, among other things. In fact, words such as withdrawn, anxious, depressed, pessimistic and unhappy are often used to describe people with low self-confidence. The better your self-confidence, the better chance you have of good mental health.
6. Enjoy Better Sleep
I remember sleep never came easy until I was completely exhausted. I was always spending my night second-guessing myself and letting anxiety take over my mind. As I went from non-existent self-confidence to someone who actually did believe in herself, I noticed something amazing – I was actually sleeping well. Trust me, this makes a huge difference in how you feel and makes you feel more confident.
7. Seem More Attractive
Numerous studies have been done that show medium and high self-confidence is attractive. It’s not about the perfect body, a certain height or having treatments for a neon white smile. I couldn’t believe something that was free and easy (once you build up to it) could be so attractive.
Whether you’re looking for love or friendship, don’t underestimate the power of self-confidence. Plus, you’re far more likely to attract self-confident people. This leads to a more positive situation instead of a toxic relationship.
8. Excel At Work
Who among us wouldn’t like a better job? Maybe it’s be nice if your boss noticed you and gave you that promotion that you know you’d be perfect for. The only problem is you doubt yourself to the point that even you don’t believe you should get it over someone else. I’ve been there. I remember being angry at myself and others. I wanted to know why they got to succeed and move up while I was left behind.
If you want that promotion or perfect job, you need the skills and as you’ve probably guessed by now, self-confidence. Just like self-confidence makes you more attractive, it makes others take notice, like your boss. You trust yourself to pitch the next great idea or learn the new skill you need to nail that promotion. More confident people excel at work.
9. Take More Risks In Life
I wish it were as easy as just letting opportunities magically appear, but self-confidence is important for making those opportunities come to you. It’s true. Opportunities come from taking risks in life. Think about successful actors who started out working as waitresses. They took a risk to move to a new city and go up against thousands of others who were auditioning for the same roles. Those risks paid off in a big way.
Another example is finding a partner in life. Without self-confidence, you may never approach the person you’re attracted to. Without that one risk, you might never be with that person.
10. Let Go Of Bad Habits
It’s always amazing to me how we deal with low self-confidence. We’d rather make our lives worse with bad habits than tackle building self-confidence. Believe me, I know the excuse. “I’m already so low and obviously failing at being confident, so why try.” It’s kind of like this negative mantra that goes through the mind over and over.
If you want to lose weight, stop smoking, avoid drinking, take charge of your finances or anything else, you need self-confidence. It’s this big kick in the butt that makes you believe that you can do it. Not only do you drop the bad habits, but you feel better overall. It’s a major win-win.
Self-confidence is important in all areas of your life. Yes, it’s possible to be too confident, but that’s not the problem most people face. I think we could all benefit from a boost of self-confidence.
My name is Jess Brighton, a Minneapolis based Life, Adversity and Reinvention Coach. Learn more about me and my coaching services by visiting www.jessicabrighton.com.
If you have a question about this or another topic email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule your complimentary 30 minute strategy session.
Image: Brooke Cagle